Holiday Survival Guide for Family Caregivers
Philadelphia, PA, December 13, 2007-- Those of us caring for an elderly or ailing parent may dread the upcoming holidays. Instead of feeling excited and enthused
about this busy time of year, caregivers may feel worn out and depressed. "Caring for their loved one consumes so much of
their physical and mental energy that they just can't take on the holiday chores of buying gifts, decorating the house, or
hosting a holiday dinner," says Fayez El-Gabalawi, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist with Belmont Behavioral Health. "So, instead of looking forward to holiday activities, many
caregivers dread them," Dr. El-Gabalawi adds.
Families faced with these responsibilities are increasingly common. In fact, the National Alliance for Caregiving estimates
that 80 percent of all care received by older Americans is provided by family members. Many caregivers are adult children
who are part of the 'sandwich generation' -- sandwiched between caring for an elderly or ailing parent on the one side and
raising their children on the other side. Both sides require an extraordinary amount of time, effort, and patience.
"Some of the pressure caregivers feel is due to the expectation they put on themselves to create the holiday experience they
remember from their youth, and these goals are unachievable. These unrealistic expectations can lead caregivers to feel guilty
for not being able to fulfill everyone's wishes, for feeling exhausted from caring for their loved ones, or they may feel
angry because they don't have any time for themselves," says El-Gabalawi.
If you're feeling pressure or guilt over creating the 'perfect' holiday for your family, Dr. El-Gabalawi says to "take it
easy on yourself. With the added burden of caring for an ill or elderly parent, you have enough to worry about."
Here are suggestions from Dr. El-Gabalawi for simplifying your holidays:
- Accept that the holidays are going to be different this year. It's impossible to be a caregiver and plan a complete holiday
celebration.
- Minimize your shopping burden by buying gifts online, purchasing gift cards or giving a group family gift. Or, cut back on
your gift list this year, if necessary. People will understand.
- Skip the formal sit-down dinner and host a potluck holiday dinner instead. Better yet, make reservations at a special restaurant,
or let another family member do the cooking this year.
- Let your children know that the holidays are not about gifts, cookies or a big, formal dinner. What matters is being together
as a family
- Manage your time by involving your children in holiday chores, decorating just one or two rooms for the holidays instead of
the whole house, and cutting back on the number of holiday cards that you send.
- Take time for yourself. An afternoon at the hair salon, a lunch date with girlfriends, or a nice dinner out with your spouse
can work wonders for your spirits. You deserve a break from your daily routine.
- Decide which holiday traditions are most important and which ones your family can do without this year. If possible, include
a tradition that your elderly or sick family member started. This will help maintain their happy memories and continue long-standing
traditions.
CONTACT: Judy Horwitz
Communications Specialist
Albert Einstein Healthcare Network
215-456-6767 horwitzj@einstein.edu
Publish date: December 13, 2007
