Recovery Stories - Jack's story

A manic/depressive, alcoholic/substance abuser turns his life around.

“I did not see how my life could ever, ever be workable…”

I am a manic/depressive, alcoholic/substance abuser. I have been hospitalized eight times in the last 25 years for suicidal behavior, depression and manic behavior. I felt overwhelmed, hopeless and suicidal. I did not see how my life could ever, ever be workable. I wanted to end it.

Then, about five years ago I entered Belmont. I think the main difference in me at that time was I had acquired some sobriety. I had accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic. I really couldn’t drink. I was powerless. This realization was my turning point.

I took this newfound approach and applied it to my mental health illness. I could not control my behavior. I was sick. I needed help. Giving up the need to control myself on my own helped me overcome my fears and the overwhelming sense of hopelessness, and I got into a place that could help me. There was a time when I was very guilty, ashamed and embarrassed about not being able to do and act in a positive, useful way. The fact of the matter is that I was sick and needed help.

It wasn’t easy and it was a long time coming, but I found the right medicine and discovered the importance of therapy and talking with a psychiatrist. Things got better – day by day by day -- and I eventually left Belmont feeling a lot better then when I went in. Now, I'm sober and on the right medicine.  I'm in a support group and have a therapist who I can turn to.  Life is a real joy!