Recovery Stories - Louise's story

A mother who spent 20 years coping with her son’s (Jack) mental health disorder throughout his journey to recovery.

“It took me a while to understand what was going on within Jack….”

I have spent over 20 years dealing with my son, Jack.  He was lost to me. Many times I didn’t know where he was or what he was doing.  When I did know, it was very upsetting. The worst part was guilt that I had as a parent.  I kept asking myself,

“What did I do wrong?”

“How did I fail this child as he was growing up?”

I look back and think, “I should have done this and I should have done that.” Seeing your child go through this is very hard on a parent.

We were fortunate that Jack was able to get into Belmont. It is a very comfortable environment. The staff was welcoming and reassuring. They made me feel comfortable. We had been in many other facilities but Belmont was different. When I saw how comfortable Jack was, it was extra reassuring. I felt that it was finally going to work.

We had a family meeting at Belmont, which also served to reassure me that Jack was at the right place. One of the things I discovered that wasn’t good for me was that I kept everything in – I didn’t talk about it much and that is unfortunate. I realize now that I would have been better off if I had communicated with family and friends more than I did.

When Jack left Belmont, he went into a transition program where we had family, group meetings. That was helpful because I got to meet other families who had experienced similar situations. It was rewarding and helpful to talk to other parents who were going through the same thing I was.

It took me awhile to understand what is going on within Jack. On your own, you might form your own ideas of what’s wrong. You'll create explanations for why he does things.  But as a result of the family meetings, I realized I had to see the situation as he saw it and try to understand what he was going through. I had to be patient and caring and let him know I was behind him 100 percent. I think this has been a big help to Jack – to let him know that I was there. He has really opened up to me now, whereas before he wasn’t telling me what was going on. He wasn’t telling me the truth. Now, I find he is truthful and is communicating with me in a much better way.

I have a much better role now. I am being as supportive as I can. I am very proud of my son, how he has established himself and am so happy that we have a great relationship.