Recovery Stories - Gwen's story

A lifetime battle with depression and substance abuse.

"I am 50 now and was 16 when I first entered to a hospital for my depression…”

Here is my story. I tell it in an effort to spread some hope.

I am 50 now and was 16 when I first entered a hospital for my depression. I was scared, nervous and upset. I didn’t know what to expect.

At the age of 17, I had my first child, which made my situation worse. Over the course of the next 12 years, I had three more children. I was still depressed, feeling like I just didn’t want to be here. The depression didn’t go away. I got on drugs, alcohol – which made it worse. They took me to the hospital, but I didn’t want the help. It took me awhile before I asked for help – wanted help.

When I entered Belmont, it was the same. Scary. I was afraid and at the same time I still didn’t feel like I wanted the help. I was rebellious. I didn’t ask for or want help – until I got my therapist. I still didn’t want help or think I needed help, but there was something about my therapist that I liked.

One day she asked me, “Why won’t you just do some things for me, to help yourself?” I thought here is my chance to show her that none of this stuff is going to work. Eight years later and I’m still trying to prove to her it is not going to work.

So me helping her help me kept me out of the hospital that long. Coming to a hospital is not that scary. It just means you need help and this is the best place for you.