Special Feature: Coping with Traumatic Events

We have all been deeply touched by the terrible events of September 11. In the wake of the attacks, many people have questions about how to cope with tragedy and how to communicate with others in difficult times. The following questions and answers are offered in hopes that it will be helpful to you in sharing your feelings with and comforting others.

How do I handle communicating about this issue with my children?

One of the most important things to realize is that children react differently depending on their age. The first thing to do is listen to what they have to say. Try to understand how they are processing what they have heard and seen. You can prompt them by acknowledging that "today you may have heard about some of the bad things that happened in New York. What have you heard? What are you thinking about this?" This must be done in the context of a reassuring, quiet setting. Turn off the TV and radio. Show them how to transition from being preoccupied with this terrible news to relaxing and getting some rest.

Even if your child has not been exposed to the news, try to anticipate what they will be hearing when you are not around, such as at school. Make time to prepare them for this. Reassure them about where you will be and how you can be reached.

Talk to your children. Answering their questions will help ease their anxiety. Ask your children how they are feeling, what they are thinking about. It is important to give comfort in a stressful situation. Do your best to send a message of safety to your children. Reassure them that their family and community are safe, that we have strong leaders and our country is in good hands. Make sure you let them know that they and you, and other members of their immediate family, e.g. Grandma, Grandpa, are safe right now.

How do I grieve and show support for the victims of this tragedy without losing my focus on my job and my other work and family responsibilities?

Realize that we all must give ourselves room to process what has occurred. Talk to those close to you; talk to your peers. Then, remind yourself that while this is a tragedy of tremendous dimensions, we live in a world that is largely intact. Our job settings are intact and require our close attention. This sounds challenging, but people regularly draw a line between what troubles them in the world and their personal lives. The same applies now. We can do this better if we leave ourselves the opportunity to "vent" our feelings and then return fully to our work at hand.

My family and friends are riveted to the TV and other media during this crisis? Is this a healthy thing to do?

While it is important for each of us to understand what has taken place these past days, the news has a way of repeating and intensifying the events that occurred. You need to know when to take a break from this effect. Turn off the TV. Return to the your normal activities as much as possible.

How do I support this effort and help out if I can?

One of the healthy ways we deal with crisis is to try to offer help and assistance to those in need. We encourage everyone who wants to help out by donating blood to register for a donating date on the Red Cross web site at www.pleasegiveblood.org. Currently there is no acute blood shortage and the Red Cross is inundated with volunteer donors, but please sign up for a later date.

Who can I talk to if I need extra support in handling or coping with these tragic events?

If after some time you are still experiencing trauma and having difficulty returning to your normal way of life, please seek professional counseling.

Albert Einstein Healthcare Network's web site, including its contents and programs, is provided for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice nor is it intended to create any physician-patient relationship. Please remember that this information should not substitute for a visit or a consultation with a healthcare provider.